It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
its liver damage thursday
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
