Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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