no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize