singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
She's the barista slut.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
