so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
