I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Randomize
