If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
