so explain again why im purple
no
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
