I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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