He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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