I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
She's not a foreskin expert like you
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
