Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
