it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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