im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize