Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize