Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
