Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
