just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I lost the right to judge tonight
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize