If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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