just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
