Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
