I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
