Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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