my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
