hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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