it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
