I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
