you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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