some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
