He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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