Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
