physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
