wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
