I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
