I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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