their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
