I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Randomize