i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
