I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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