I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
