What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
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