so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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