Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
