it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
