ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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