people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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