I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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