so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
