I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
