Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
