____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
