Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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