how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
