my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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