Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
