Swine flu. Run for my life!
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It was confusing and full of hummus
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
