just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
