After last night, I could never be a politician.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
