She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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