so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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